It's kind of funny having a grandma, a mom and kids on Mother's Day. Even as a mom, I can't help but feel like Mother's Day is for my mom and that it always will be. The truth is, it will always be about my mom first.
I'm turning 35 this year....35, where does the time even go? I very clearly remember my own mom being 35 and she seemed a bit - well, old. That makes me feel ridiculous now. Ayla is turning 5 this year. What? Five? The last 5 years have gone by at a rate that seems twice as fast as the previous 10. That's a bit scary to think about....like I may just wake up one day next month and be 75.
In five short years my daughter has taught me more than any other single person. She's taught me about who I am, and who I want to be. She's taught me about who my own mother is. She has given me more reasons to believe in God than the Bible itself. I am amazed that despite my shortcomings she is such a fantastic little girl. She's smart and beautiful, funny and charming. Those aren't the things that make her fantastic though. She LOVES God. Really. Deep down, she gets it. She is one of the most empathetic and kind 4 1/2 year olds I've ever met. I am not just saying that because she's mine. She is REALLY one of the kindest little girls. She cares about people, she shares, she loves with her whole heart. I am so proud and lucky to have her. I am blessed.
Dailon and Chariyona... it's hard to decide what to say about them. They aren't mine. I want them to be ours forever but for now, I am their foster mom. I love them with my whole heart. It's crazy to see how they've changed so much in 3 1/2 months. They love us. They know that we love them. It makes me so happy to know that they trust us and trust our love for them. There was a time when I wasn't sure that they would.
Dailon sometimes says to me "Mom, you love me so much! I'm so happy!" It brings happy tears to my eyes. He's doing well in school. He's doing amazingly well at home. Visits are rough and his behavior reflects that when he returns from a visit. It's hard to watch. There is so much confusion in his world regarding his biomom and the siblings he has that don't live with him. I want so much to tell him that he'll be with us always...he asks if he can stay forever and I have no answer for him. I respond with "Daddy and I will love you forever!" In August, we should have some answers, their case will make an obvious turn in one direction or another them.
Chariyona is just plain funny. We call her "tank". She is sturdy, solid and throws her weight around to get what she wants. She is blossoming into happy and healthy little girl. She catches on to things quickly and it seems that she learns something new nearly everyday. She loves being here....Daddy is by far her favorite though. She's never had any kind of daddy in the past. I was worried that it would be hard for her to build that relationship...she sure proved me wrong! She's so young, I don't expect any type of long term issues with her. She's just our little lovey bug.
Back to Mother's Day.... It was a great day. There is nothing in the world I love more than being a family of five. I am so incredibly blessed. We spent the whole day at home, nothing exciting. We met my mom and Sabrina(including all family members) for dinner this evening...perfect end to a perfect day!
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