Zoo

Cousin Lindsey was in town this week. Yesterday we met family at the zoo to spend the afternoon in the sun, soaking up all of the fun at the Henry Doorly Zoo. Dailon was a little bit afraid of the peacock, but much braver with a big buff Jared holding his hand

Carousel is always a big hit!

From left: Lexi, Grant, Jared & Chary. Front: Allison and Ayla

Riding on the tram(we couldn't take the wagon on the train, big bummer! This was the next best thing.

Excited

Riding nicely

Fist bump!

Family photo op

Landscaping...backyard

Tom's crew worked on our backyard yesterday....it's amazing, way better than anything I could have dreamed up on my own. We have a retaining wall(two actually) with flagstone steps that go down to a stone walkway and firepit. Yesterday they added plants/bushes and fresh mulch. My pictures didn't turn out well at all, it started to rain, more like pour, about 30 seconds after I went back there. Of course.

This view shows just how wonderful everything looks. There is a very woodsy feel.

So fresh, it smells sweet. So relaxing, you could fall asleep. So beautiful, it's hard to close your eyes.

My brother is creative, talented, generous.....

Thanks Tommy!

Shut up and DANCE!

This was Ayla's first full year of dance. Her recital was tonight and was so, so, so cute! She looked like she beloned on Toddlers and Tiaras or Prosti-tots or whatever those shows are. Okay, she was actually very cute but seeing her in full make-up is a little crazy! I don't have pictures of the actual performance because it wasn't allowed. However, I DO have video of last night's dress rehearsal. I'll post that tomorrow because I need Darren's help. This is Ayla and my mom...she went back stage with me to get her. Ayla got an Angelina Ballerina from Uncle Tommy and Bean Bean for her 'star performance'...she loves it!

The three Grandmas! Great Grandma Jane, Gigi and Grandma Carol.

I tried to get some cute pics when we got home. Ayla got flowers from FOUR different people. Us, Grandma Carol, Great Grandma Jane and Shelley/Mandi/Maggie. She could barely hold them all!

Ayla is so proud of herself. Their dance was to "It's a Small World" She did such a good job! She is THRILLED with the fact that she has a trophy.

Thank you everyone for making her night special!!!

To whom it concerns

To whom it concerns:

Apparently there have been some conversations about what is going on in the Splonskowski household, I don't know why. However, it doesn't really seem to be happiness for us. I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation but I don't mind giving an explanation, especially if any of you wondering would just ask us. My point in writing this is not one of anger or rudeness. It is simply informational. I do ask that if any of you have further questions, you ask us. We are more than happy to share our experiences with you. After all, we cannot do this alone, as they say "It takes a village".

After Aezy went to the therapeutic home, things got easier. Alot easier. That doesn't mean things are easy though. We have three very busy little kids. They are basically a 2 yo, a 3yo and a 4 yo. Even if Dailon and Chary didn't carry some of the baggage they do, it would be hard. Add to that the issues Dailon has, the fact that they are both still confused about visits and who their parents even are(us vs biomom) and you end up with two angry and confused little kids who act out. Yes, even Chary is not typical due to what she has lived. She will eventually adjust and be fine, they both will, but that takes time.

We are doing well as a family of 5. We have a routine and it works. We are able to function as a normal family, go out in public and have people over to our house. That doesn't mean that we don't ever get stressed. As I said before, three young kids are stressful. Of course we all have our melt downs and vents(us and the kids)...in a family of 5 that means someone is melting down several times a day.

Apparently there was some drama about the fact that we hired a babysitter. This kind of makes me laugh. I am a sahm, I don't get a break....EVER. I am not living a luxury life. This is a 24/7 job and it isn't just taking care of the kids...laundry for 5, grocery shopping for 5, picking up after 5, cooking for 5, I am responsible for 4 baths a day if I include my own. I have always been a hands on mom. We paint, we play with play doh, we go outside, We play games, do flash cards and workbooks... three kids mean these activities take three times as long, and then there is the clean up. Ayla takes dance and plays baseball. Ayla and Dailon both take swimming lessons. We have social workers, case workers and case managers coming to our house several times a month. We go to family team meetings. These children take alot of time. I am not complaining about the amount of time they take. I just don't feel bad about having two partial days a week where I can be without them. Yesterday while the babysitter was here, I cleaned and did laundry. I EVEN got to call my bff and talk to her mostly uninterrupted for 20 minutes! Then I showered and took Ayla to lunch before dropping her off at school. I had two hours to run errands before picking up Dailon from school and getting home. I paid the babysitter then Dailon, Chary and I went to pick up Ayla, We got home, they had a snack and then we went to swimming lessons. By the time we got home from swimming(at 6:30pm) we had dinner, did baths and bedtime and it was 8pm before I ever sat down. And THAT was on my day "off". Seriously.

For those who think Darren or I may be stressed and frazzled sometimes....of course we are! We have three little kids, two of which aren't your run of the mill 'regular' kids. I could go on and on about behaviors.....Dailon 'painting' with poop, running through the house screaming "fuck you" after a visit with his bios, head banging. I'll save you that nightmare though. Of course, since you all have a 2, 3 and 4 year old - you already know about the very normal stuff - constant bickering, tattling, fighting, not sharing etc.

I really wish that instead of being critical and talking amongst yourselves about our occasionally obvious stress loads, and how ridiculous it is that a sahm would hire a babysitter - You would call us and ask us how we're doing. Allow us to vent without judging us. Volunteer to get a pedicure with me or play a round of golf with Darren. Maybe invite us to a movie.

For anyone who is thinking or ready to say "well, you got what you asked for". You're right. We did. And we couldn't be happier about it. We love these kids just as we love Ayla and wouldn't have it any other way. You see, it isn't us who seem to have the problem...

Mother's Day Ramblings

It's kind of funny having a grandma, a mom and kids on Mother's Day. Even as a mom, I can't help but feel like Mother's Day is for my mom and that it always will be. The truth is, it will always be about my mom first.

I'm turning 35 this year....35, where does the time even go? I very clearly remember my own mom being 35 and she seemed a bit - well, old. That makes me feel ridiculous now. Ayla is turning 5 this year. What? Five? The last 5 years have gone by at a rate that seems twice as fast as the previous 10. That's a bit scary to think about....like I may just wake up one day next month and be 75.

In five short years my daughter has taught me more than any other single person. She's taught me about who I am, and who I want to be. She's taught me about who my own mother is. She has given me more reasons to believe in God than the Bible itself. I am amazed that despite my shortcomings she is such a fantastic little girl. She's smart and beautiful, funny and charming. Those aren't the things that make her fantastic though. She LOVES God. Really. Deep down, she gets it. She is one of the most empathetic and kind 4 1/2 year olds I've ever met. I am not just saying that because she's mine. She is REALLY one of the kindest little girls. She cares about people, she shares, she loves with her whole heart. I am so proud and lucky to have her. I am blessed.

Dailon and Chariyona... it's hard to decide what to say about them. They aren't mine. I want them to be ours forever but for now, I am their foster mom. I love them with my whole heart. It's crazy to see how they've changed so much in 3 1/2 months. They love us. They know that we love them. It makes me so happy to know that they trust us and trust our love for them. There was a time when I wasn't sure that they would.

Dailon sometimes says to me "Mom, you love me so much! I'm so happy!" It brings happy tears to my eyes. He's doing well in school. He's doing amazingly well at home. Visits are rough and his behavior reflects that when he returns from a visit. It's hard to watch. There is so much confusion in his world regarding his biomom and the siblings he has that don't live with him. I want so much to tell him that he'll be with us always...he asks if he can stay forever and I have no answer for him. I respond with "Daddy and I will love you forever!" In August, we should have some answers, their case will make an obvious turn in one direction or another them.

Chariyona is just plain funny. We call her "tank". She is sturdy, solid and throws her weight around to get what she wants. She is blossoming into happy and healthy little girl. She catches on to things quickly and it seems that she learns something new nearly everyday. She loves being here....Daddy is by far her favorite though. She's never had any kind of daddy in the past. I was worried that it would be hard for her to build that relationship...she sure proved me wrong! She's so young, I don't expect any type of long term issues with her. She's just our little lovey bug.

Back to Mother's Day.... It was a great day. There is nothing in the world I love more than being a family of five. I am so incredibly blessed. We spent the whole day at home, nothing exciting. We met my mom and Sabrina(including all family members) for dinner this evening...perfect end to a perfect day!

We know this one photographer...

Okay, so this 'one photographer' happens to be our sister-in-law and aunt too....Bean-Bean! She was so very kind to take pictures of the kids for us this week. I wanted to give biomom a picture of her 4 children for Mother's Day. Up until this day, a picture of her 4 children together did not exist. Sad. I know that the kids will appreciate these pictures when they're older too. I'm not actually posting any of just the Gilmore children here....these have Ayla too. The kids were not cooperative in any way :) Sabrina was amazing and is a whiz with photoshop!!

Quintell is 7, Ayla 4 1/2, Aision 4, Dailon 3 and Chariyona almost 22 months.

Our three, I love this picture
Dailon

Ayla

Chariyona

Thanks Sabrina....for your generosity, patience and mad skills :)