Tuesday, January 3, 2012
More
All of the Splonskowski cousins at Vala's Pumpkin Patch
Nebraska City, picking apples at the orchard
OMG....I'm back!
I have so much catching up to do. It's actually hard to decide where exactly to start. In September all three kids started school. Chary is going to Mother's Day Out one day a week at Westside Church. Dailon started going two mornings a week at Imagine and Explore as well as continuing with Behaven on Monday-Wednesday-Friday and Ayla started PreK at the Millard Education Foundation five afternoons a week. All are doing well and Dailon has actually since graduated from Behaven and is home with other than his Tuesday and Thursday classes at I&E.
October was a big month...we took all of the kids to Disney, Ayla lost her first tooth and Ayla also turned 5!
In November things slowed down a bit. Chary potty trained at 28 months which felt like a huge accomplishment as she was so behind and delayed when she came to us at 18 months. We enjoyed Thanksgiving and had most of our Christmas shopping done by the end of the month.
In December, Darren, Dailon and I all had birthdays. Dailon had his first birthday party ever and was so, so happy and grateful. It was amazing to share it with him. Darren, Ayla and I spent a week in Hawaii and it was hands down the BEST VACATION EVER! We snorkeled, sailed, swam, sun bathed, ate the best sushi and so many types of seafood, swam with dolphins, visited a pineapple plantation, went over one hundred feet down in a submarine....I could go on and on. It was hard to leave but we were very excited to come back to Chary and Dailon. Christmas was spent at home, we were blessed to have John and Carol here to celebrate with us. The kids had an amazing Christmas and there is nothing more that Darren and I wanted than just that.
Today is January 3rd. Not much to say about this month yet! Darren and have committed to do things for us. More date nights, healthier food choices, more exercise. In the year that we've had Chary and Dailon the focus has been on our children. It had to be and there are no regrets however, things are good now. Ayla has adjusted nicely, C&D are doing well and there is now time and energy left over to focus on ourselves and each other. I have high hopes for this year!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
I was reading back on our blog tonight. I cried when I reread the words I had written during the kid's first months here. It brought back the feelings from those days, I had almost forgotten that it was ever that hard. How we questioned whether we were cut out for this and if we were damaging our family of three. We made a promise to our foster children and we held or chins up and marched on.
It has been 7 months since Chary and Dailon showed up on our doorstep. They were dirty, unkempt and wearing tattered clothes that were too small. They were both behind in speech and basic life skills. Their behavior was awful. They lacked social skills...no stranger danger, no boundaries, no understanding of a family unit. Dailon was self harming, swearing, aggressive and not potty trained. They had never been in a Target or a restaurant. They had never been to church.
Today Chary and Dailon are caught up, happy, socialized typical functioning 2 and 3 1/2 year olds. They are very much a part of our family. In 7 months, we have grown to love them as we would had they been born into our family. They are very much Darren and I's son and daughter. They are very much Ayla's siblings. That gets tricky though, because they aren't really ours. There are no promises. They may not be here forever. That is a horrifying thought to me.
At his visits, with his biomom and biodad, Dailon often asks the visitation worker if he can go "home". He refers to us as his real family. He often asks us if this is his home and if he'll get to sleep in his bed forever. It is heartbreaking not to know how to answer him. We promise him that we will always love him, always have a place for him and that his bed will always be here....basically, we skirt the question all together.
If their parents were capable of raising them, keeping them safe and providing them with what they need to become contributing members of society then we would support them returning. They deserve to be with their family if they are able to care for them. I don't see it happening though. Their parents love them, really love them. I see it in their eyes, I hear it in their voices. It makes me sad for them, they're missing so much and these kids are amazing. Amazing.
They will have been in care for two years next month. That is Chary's entire life. That is more than half of Dailon's life. THAT is not fair. These beautiful babies need permanency. Somewhere. Now.
Our next court date is September 8th. It's a review of the case and dad's deposition. It's a pretty big deal, we're at the two year mark and we should get some feeling from the judge as to which way he thinks this case is going. I pray that whatever is in the best interest of the kiddos is what plays out.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The fourth of July
We explained the 4th to the kids this year. Very generically and kid friendly of course. I loved that Ayla brought it up through out the day. "Mom, we're free to love God and vote"(followed by whats 'vote' mean?) or "Mom, very brave soldiers fought for us to be our own country" Of course she has no understanding of how big that really is, but she knows. And that makes me smile. Dailon thought it was fun to run around screaming "We're freeeeeeeeeee!" and each time he spotted a flag he exclaimed "There it is! That's AMERICAAAA!"
I'm pretty sure Chary just loved that there was food. Over the 2 days that we celebrated the holiday, she had to have eaten 3000 calories. My goodness, she can eat! When she didn't have food of her own she was scoping out what everyone else had and would casually walk up, batting her eyelashes and smiling. "Bite please" When that didn't work she pointed and tried her standby "Uh, Uh, uh, uh" Either way, she got plenty.
Dailon loves babies, he really loves Tenley and Kamden.
Even at 3 1/2, he's looking at her like 'Seriously? You can't just smile like a normal, non-princess kind of kid?'
My mom and dad's neighborhood had a great party on Monday. They had a parade, face painting, dunk tank, dinner, music, and fireworks. We had a really nice time with them. It's funny but at 34, I still like being with my parents, at their house - there is some sense of
everything being just as it should be. My heart melts watching them with our kids. My dad still calls me "pumpkin" once in awhile. It's nice to be close by and be able to spend time with them.
Checking out her face paint and glittery hair
All three of them tried out sparklers. Ayla wanted to do them all night. Dailon was a bit leary but eventually warmed up and did okay. Chary who is fearless in every way, almost lit me on fire at least 5 different times inthe 2 minutes i took to burn her 36" sparkler. I was more than happy to let Darren take over "Chary duty" so that I could snap a few pictures
Baseball
Ayla liked baseball. She'll definitely do it again next season with one small change. We'll sign her up for MAA softball rather than baseball. She wants some girls on her team!! After the game the coaches handed out trophies...Ayla LOVES trophies. She now has her dance trophy and her baseball trophy displayed together on her dresser. 
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