Well hello there....almost 20 months later!!

Eek!! I knew it had been a really long time, probably a year even. It's been almost two!! Here I am though with much to share, it's crazy what happens in close to two years. 

Ayla will be 7 years old in just six days. What!? Hard to believe I just typed that. She's in first grade. She's so, so smart. Scary even. She's also feisty, even scarier. Girls got attitude, and a lot of it. She pulls it off semi well because she is kind hearted and thinks of others. She loves God. She loves her mama and daddy. She's beautiful with sparkly blue eyes and long blonde hair. She is a fantastic little horseback rider and does well in gymnastics too. She loves boy bands, making bracelets with her rainbow loom and Monster High. I adore my girl!

Kellen will be turning 6 in about 6 weeks. Parental rights were terminated in June and Dailon now goes by Kellen Jon Splonskowski. We haven't adopted yet, still in progress but it's finally coming along. He is a devilishly handsome, charismatic little guy. Everyone who meets him likes him right away. He is in kindergarten this year and doing well. It started of rocky to say the least. His first month was spent in timeout/principals office/ suspended. Really. He was diagnosed with ADHD, we found a medication that is working wonders for him and his last 6 weeks have been wonderful! Praise God. His teacher said that at this point, if a sub came into the classroom, she wouldn't be able to pick Kellen out as the kid with issues. Best.news.ever! He is so much happier too, he comes home from school with a gigantic smile everyday and tells me about his great day and his friends and how well he's doing. He continues attachment and trauma therapy weekly and probably will for several years. My heart bursts with proudness for what this boy has accomplished in the last three years. I love him so much and feel so blessed that God picked Darren and I for him. Kellen loves Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers. He ties his shoes and colors inside the lines all the times. He's a bit meticulous. He is so loving and like his big sister, has a big heart. He cares about people and how they feel. 

Chariyona now goes by Aria Jane Splonskowski. This girl is full of zest! She is diva like and a typical youngest child. Pretty care free and mostly goes with the flow although with turning 4 she's decided she'd like to be in charge instead of letting Ayla and Kellen run the show.  This is causing a little friction between the three of them but it's very good for all of them. Aria is in preK this year and for the most part, does well. She has a bit of a hard time with her fine motor skills - cutting with scissors, holding a pencil correctly, coloring in the lines. She's making progress though and hopefully will be caught up soon. She loves God and talks to and about him often. Her favorite part of the day is dinner prayers and highs/lows. She also loves the dogs. She pets them, puts blankets on them, feeds them etc. It's a good thing they're tolerant pooches because she can be a bit much at times :) she is also TALL. She skipped size 5 altogether. She literally went from 4's for summer to 6's for fall and winter. She's gonna catch Kellen very soon! She loves gymnastics and learned to swim fairly well over the summer. She can jump off the diving board in 12 foot water and swim to the edge all on her own. She's also fearless. She loves to be the fastest, highest, loudest etc. She's a wonderful little girl and we love her madly!

Cockatoo. Cockatoo!? I am currently 22 weeks pregnant(an all natural surprise if you can wrap your head around that) with a very active and healthy baby boy! The kids named him Cockatoo months ago, before we knew his gender so we went with it. We didn't see four kiddos in our future but couldn't be happier or more excited with God's plan. He's technically due March 5th but will be born in February(God willing). I'm hoping for at least 37 weeks of cooking time for him, remember Ayla was born at 30 weeks! I am seeing a high risk doctor this go around and so far things have been perfect at all of my appointments. Cockatoo is way more active than Ayla ever was in womb. It's amazing what he can do in there since he's only a pound! I can only imagine what he'll be like weeks and months from now when he's bigger. I haven't gained any weight yet although my belly is big and round. I've craved pickles and sunflower seeds then brownies. By 15-16 weeks I was all about grains...bagels, full grain crackers, plain sun chips etc. Right now I'm eating garlic and dill hummus like its my job. I guess it could be worse. Overall, I'm trying to eat nutritious foods that aren't too unhealthy. 

Anyway, I will be adding pictures soon and updating much more often. Hope to see you all around soon! 

Happy St Paddy's Day!

The Leprechaun came last night! The kids made a trap but that sneaky little guy got away. He did manage to eat all of the Lucky Charms cereal they left as bait though, and then he spelled out "Nice Try" in rainbow colored skittles.

He played many tricks while he was here, left curly green ribbons all over the house, replaced decorative candles with cans of soup, went potty in the toilet leaving the water green and his little green(paint) foot prints on the toilet seat. He covered the tv with a blanket, switched small pieces of furniture around and even turned our milk green!! He left this place a mess!

He was kind too though, he left the kids chocolate golden coins, green suckers and St Patrick's Day shirts. He also left some other various little green prizes. We're gonna catch him for sure next year!

OUTSIDE!!

As I said in my previous post, the weather here has been great. We've been outside as much as possible and have gone to several parks in the last few weeks. The kids are loving it. It makes for hungry, tired kids. This is great news because it means they devour their dinner, take baths and fall asleep fast :)

Little Miss Olive

The kids got a pet guinea pig last month. She was born on Christmas and we've named her Olive. She's easy to care for and the kids adore her. She munches on all kinds of fresh produce and happily sits on little laps while little hands pet her. She's by far the easiest one to care for in this house!

Ayla's 100th day of the school year!

With as many days as they give kids off, I didn't think she'd hit 100 total. I guess I was mistaken. This was an exciting day at school. They had to bring 100 small items to school that they could glue onto a paper chart. She brought popcorn kernals. They made hats, glasses and got stickers. Apparently, this was quite the event.

Mid March!

Wow, middle of March already! I have lots of updates...the kids, the weather, my health , Darren's schedule, and a long awaited wedding! Whew! I'll work backwards.

My cousin Joey is recently engaged to long time girlfriend Arlee. We are VERY excited about this. Everyone in the family loves Arlee and we are incredibly excited to make her an official part of the family. They've also asked Ayla to be their flower girl. As you know, Ayla is an experienced flower girl. Her debut was in August of 2010 at my cousin Jordan's wedding. She is ecstatic about being a part of their wedding and I have to say, I am too!

Darren's schedule has been awful for the past 4-6 weeks. He is working tons of hours, days and nights. It's been hard on everyone. He wants to be home, the kid's miss him and so do I! The good news is that within a few weeks he should be back to having a semi normal schedule.

In a week and a half we're heading to Minneapolis for a little R & R. We're going to spend three days there...to take the kiddos to MOA to play at the amusement park. We'll also do the indoor water park for a day. I am excited for a few days for the 5 of us to hang out. It'll be good for us all.

I've continued to heal from surgery and am doing very well. I'm down 35 pounds, going to the gym 3 days a week and overall feeling more energetic. I had one little scare a week or so ago, passed out in the shower and crashed through the shower doors. Whoops! Ayla heard me and came in. I thought she was going to freak out and be worried about me. Nope, not at all. She put her hand on her hip, looked at the shower door and said "Dad is NOT going to be happy about this!" That's my girl *rolling my eyes here*. Anyway, the dizzy spells have passed, I'm keeping up on my protein, water, vitamins and an iron supplement. All is well.

The weather has been FAN-freakin-TASTIC! We've been in the 70-80's all week! Needless to say we've been spending lots of time outside. We've been to the park nearly everyday, blowing bubbles, sidewalk chalk, walking the dogs, grilling our dinner and airing out our house. I love this weather, it does so much for every one's moods. The kids are requiring daily baths again. At the end of every night they've got dirt under their fingernails, sand in their hair, scraped knees that could use a good soaking and that "dirty kid smell". It's totally worth it though.

Overall, the kids are doing well. Ayla is sassy and mouthy and it seems to be getting worse. I suppose some of that is her age and the other part may just be that she's a bit too much like her mama. Either way, she and I have had some knock-down drag-outs about her behavior. Sigh. I'll just say we're still working on it. She's doing great in school and is reading at a first grade level. She should have no problems in the fall when she starts kindergarten!

Dailon is good. He really wants to be in school, we're trying to get him in to a specialized program for kids who have behavior issues. His behavior is fine at home but at his visits and in a school setting he still struggles. He's had weekly therapy sessions for about a month now, hopefully he's making progress. He's a happy boy, so social and outgoing. Everyone who knows him loves him. He is so smart and has great potential. I pray that there is resolution to this ridiculous case and he gets the permanency that he needs and deserves soon. I know that when that happens, his issues will subside.

Chary will be three in a few short months! Ack! She's been totally potty trained since December and is becoming fiercely independent. She wants to do everything for herself - buckling her car seat, putting on her shoes, zipping her jacket. She gets mad when she in unable to do these things easily. Last night and this afternoon for her nap she slept in her big girl bed! I've had her bed in her room for about 6 months but she's still been sleeping in her crib. I'm sure she was ready, but I wasn't! Amazingly, she did great. She stayed in her bed all night and waited for me to come get her out of bed this morning. She's such a big girl!!

I have pictures to post but need to upload them from the camera. That'll have to wait until tonight. I'll just create a separate picture post later.

Whoops! I forgot about doing a surgery update.

Obviously, I survived :)

I am just about one month out and doing amazingly well. My incisions are all healed. I have about another month of lifting restrictions as my insides take a bit longer to heal than the outside. Initially, I was quite tired after surgery, napped everyday, lived on protein shakes, water and liquid pain medication(which by the way makes cough medicine taste like candy. Blech!!).

In the last week my energy has returned, I feel like me again and have even put make-up on a time or two! I am already down over 20 pounds which is amazing to me...a couple more pounds and I will have lost a whole Chary! I just got clearance for exercise other than walking and am meeting a trainer at the gym today.

I owe all of you a huge thank you - for your support, prayers and positive thoughts. The flowers, cards, visits, help with the kids etc meant so, so much to me. Darren and I could not have managed this without all of you. From the bottom of our hearts....thank you!

St Valentine's Day

Since Ayla was born, Darren and I have made Valentine's Day about family. We always make King crab legs, an amazing spinach/bacon/feta salad, order the biggest and best chocolate covered strawberries you can imagine and sip sparkling fruit juice from champagne flutes. Darren and I celebrate together, either on the weekend before or after with a quiet and romantic little dinner somewhere out on the town.

We have three beautiful little Valentines who play the part well, the girls dressed in hearts from head to toe and of course, "Mr Irresistible". This morning the kids all opened their Valentines from us and each other along with a couple of little gifts we got them. Tonight, Papa and Gigi are coming for dinner...the kids are excited, of course. Grandpa John and Grandma Carol sent gifts for the kids too, I love all of the little holidays with kids. I love how special it makes them feel and how happy and full our hearts are.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Sorta big news...

I recently sent this email to close family/friends. I thought I would post it here in case someone was missed on email who happens to follow my blog. I also want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has responded to my email. I have gotten nothing but love and support from all of you. I can't begin to express how much that really means. Having an excellent support system in place is important for my long term success. Thank you!

Hi everyone. This is brand new news to some of you, old news to others but important for me to share regardless. As all of you know, my weight has been a serious struggle for quite some time. I'm capable of losing weight but have never been a success at maintaining weight loss. While I have been lucky thus far and avoided comorbidities such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes etc, it is impossible to remain at my current weight and not have these issues arise eventually. About a year ago my endocrinologist(doctor who manages my thyroid levels since it has been removed) and I had a conversation about my weight as I was looking for advice on long term success with weight control. While it IS possible for me to lose weight through diet and exercise, it is hard. I have a couple of issues working against me. One is insulin resistance related to my PCOS and the other is that we've had a hard time regulating my thyroid levels since surgery. He basically told me that this is going to be an uphill battle for the rest of my life. Yay me! *I'm totally rolling my eyes here* At that time, and with his encouragement, I began looking into gastric bypass surgery. This has been a very long process. I attended 6 months of classes through the weight management center at Alegent Health. I've met with a psychiatrist(a couple of times) who had to declare me "mentally fit" to make the decision to go ahead with type of life altering surgery. I've met with a pharmacist, bariatric nutritionist and patients who have already undergone this surgery(some who have been successful and some who have not). Along with Darren, my endocrinologist, my GP and the bariatric surgeon, I have decided to go ahead with gastric bypass surgery. They are all supportive of my decision and feel that I am well informed, as do I. The surgery itself is a BIG surgery. They will create a 2 oz pouch of stomach that will be my "new" stomach. The other portion of my stomach will remain inside and continue functioning and making gastric juices, it just won't get contact with food. The next step in the surgery is to reroute a portion of my small intestines. They will bypass about 3 feet of small intestines, and connect the jejunum to my new pouch. My intestines will also remain inside and functioning. It will reconnect further down in my intestines and meet back up so that all of the appropriate juices still get to the food....just a bit further along in the digestive process. This creates two new processes. One, I will be restricted in the amount of food I can take in(approx 1-1 1/2 cups after a year out from surgery) and two, because of the rerouting of intestines, I will be absorbing less fat/sugar. Thus....weight loss. Crazy, huh!? The first 6 months after surgery are the hardest. In the beginning, while my new pouch is learning to work, I will be on a liquid diet...usually this lasts for about two weeks. I will then move to soft foods(mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, cottage cheese etc) for a couple of weeks, it will continue to progress as tolerated and by about 6-8 weeks out I'll be on a pretty normal diet. I will have to avoid tough or dry meat, tough skins(such as apples, grapes), super fibrous foods(pineapple, oranges), seeds(strawberries, nuts) for a bit longer. I may or may not tolerate those foods in the future...it's luck of the draw basically. I may also struggle with breads, pasta, rice etc. Those foods will be limited anyway due to the carb content. I will be in the hospital for three days. I will have an On-Q pain pump placed inside my belly that will provide local pain control and will also be hooked up to a morphine pump for a couple of days. The surgery is laproscopic, I will have 5-8 small incisions and one 3-4 inch incision. The larger incision will be left open to heal from the inside out. They say it usually takes about 10 days. I will be really restricted in lifting and some physical activities for about 4 weeks. I will be doing LOTS of walking however, speeds up the recovery. Darren will be off the week of surgery and Emily will be here the following week. The third week Darren will be home again. Emily is "on-call" for the 4th week but I hope to be very much back to normal by then. My mom has offered to be available if we need help as well. Here is the kicker....my surgery is scheduled for 0730am, next Wednesday, the 18th! Only 5 days away! It will be at Immanuel and I expect to be there until Saturday the 21st. I know that all of you probably know the friend of a friend, or someone who had this surgery and regrets it, had complications or has not been successful with it. I know. What I am really asking for though, is your support and your prayers. Prayers for an uncomplicated, easy recovery. Prayers for this surgery to be a success and for me to be back in control of my weight and health. I am excited and a little bit anxious. My surgeon is top of the line and I have great faith in him!
I am in the process of a 7 day pre-op diet of protein shakes, sugar free jello and chicken broth. It sucks but will totally be worth it in the end. Thank you for loving me and for being supportive. It means a lot to both Darren and I!!

Jamie

P.S. If I have forgotten someone who you feel would like these details, feel free to share. While I am not screaming this information of the rooftops, because it is personal, I am not embarrassed about having this surgery. I am actually very proud of myself for taking the reigns and becoming in control of my health before significant problems arise.

Chary and Dailon

I guess I should also throw in a quick update of the CPS case. In October we met with the foster care review board. It was the regular 6 month review and they have now officially recommended that termination of parental rights be filed. Good gracious, it's about time. The FCRB is a group of volunteers who are educated in Nebraska law regarding foster care. They are often attorneys, casas, social workers, teachers, medical professionals etc who have some first hand experience with the system. They are not paid or connected to any current case in any way. Their opinions are taken seriously by the guardian ad lit em, prosecuting attorney and judge. We were relieved to hear that they have finally decided that mom and dad have had enough time and that these kids need stability in their lives. A few weeks later there was another hearing. Because dad had only been adjudicated a couple of months previous, they extended the case for another 6 months. It is frustrating but makes sense. If termination is going to happen, they need their ducks in a nice straight row! We do not want termination of parental rights overturned on appeal.

At this time mom and dad do not have appropriate housing. They do not have transportation other than the bus which they only agree to ride some of the time. They miss many of the kids therapy/doctor appointments. They cancel quite a few visits....minimum of one a week for the last few months, often times more. Dad has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and was refused for surgery as his lungs are apparently not healthy enough for him to have the general anesthesia. He has had some other treatments in the meantime and hopefully will recover fully.

We go back to court in April. I guess we'll have to wait and see what April brings...

Hawaii, Dailon and Ayla's birthdays

More

All of the Splonskowski cousins at Vala's Pumpkin Patch

Nebraska City, picking apples at the orchard

Pictures!

Ayla's first friend birthday party.

Pumpkin patch!

GO BIG RED!!!

Mickey and Minnie

OMG....I'm back!

I have so much catching up to do. It's actually hard to decide where exactly to start. In September all three kids started school. Chary is going to Mother's Day Out one day a week at Westside Church. Dailon started going two mornings a week at Imagine and Explore as well as continuing with Behaven on Monday-Wednesday-Friday and Ayla started PreK at the Millard Education Foundation five afternoons a week. All are doing well and Dailon has actually since graduated from Behaven and is home with other than his Tuesday and Thursday classes at I&E.

October was a big month...we took all of the kids to Disney, Ayla lost her first tooth and Ayla also turned 5!

In November things slowed down a bit. Chary potty trained at 28 months which felt like a huge accomplishment as she was so behind and delayed when she came to us at 18 months. We enjoyed Thanksgiving and had most of our Christmas shopping done by the end of the month.

In December, Darren, Dailon and I all had birthdays. Dailon had his first birthday party ever and was so, so happy and grateful. It was amazing to share it with him. Darren, Ayla and I spent a week in Hawaii and it was hands down the BEST VACATION EVER! We snorkeled, sailed, swam, sun bathed, ate the best sushi and so many types of seafood, swam with dolphins, visited a pineapple plantation, went over one hundred feet down in a submarine....I could go on and on. It was hard to leave but we were very excited to come back to Chary and Dailon. Christmas was spent at home, we were blessed to have John and Carol here to celebrate with us. The kids had an amazing Christmas and there is nothing more that Darren and I wanted than just that.

Today is January 3rd. Not much to say about this month yet! Darren and have committed to do things for us. More date nights, healthier food choices, more exercise. In the year that we've had Chary and Dailon the focus has been on our children. It had to be and there are no regrets however, things are good now. Ayla has adjusted nicely, C&D are doing well and there is now time and energy left over to focus on ourselves and each other. I have high hopes for this year!

I was reading back on our blog tonight. I cried when I reread the words I had written during the kid's first months here. It brought back the feelings from those days, I had almost forgotten that it was ever that hard. How we questioned whether we were cut out for this and if we were damaging our family of three. We made a promise to our foster children and we held or chins up and marched on.

It has been 7 months since Chary and Dailon showed up on our doorstep. They were dirty, unkempt and wearing tattered clothes that were too small. They were both behind in speech and basic life skills. Their behavior was awful. They lacked social skills...no stranger danger, no boundaries, no understanding of a family unit. Dailon was self harming, swearing, aggressive and not potty trained. They had never been in a Target or a restaurant. They had never been to church.

Today Chary and Dailon are caught up, happy, socialized typical functioning 2 and 3 1/2 year olds. They are very much a part of our family. In 7 months, we have grown to love them as we would had they been born into our family. They are very much Darren and I's son and daughter. They are very much Ayla's siblings. That gets tricky though, because they aren't really ours. There are no promises. They may not be here forever. That is a horrifying thought to me.

At his visits, with his biomom and biodad, Dailon often asks the visitation worker if he can go "home". He refers to us as his real family. He often asks us if this is his home and if he'll get to sleep in his bed forever. It is heartbreaking not to know how to answer him. We promise him that we will always love him, always have a place for him and that his bed will always be here....basically, we skirt the question all together.

If their parents were capable of raising them, keeping them safe and providing them with what they need to become contributing members of society then we would support them returning. They deserve to be with their family if they are able to care for them. I don't see it happening though. Their parents love them, really love them. I see it in their eyes, I hear it in their voices. It makes me sad for them, they're missing so much and these kids are amazing. Amazing.

They will have been in care for two years next month. That is Chary's entire life. That is more than half of Dailon's life. THAT is not fair. These beautiful babies need permanency. Somewhere. Now.

Our next court date is September 8th. It's a review of the case and dad's deposition. It's a pretty big deal, we're at the two year mark and we should get some feeling from the judge as to which way he thinks this case is going. I pray that whatever is in the best interest of the kiddos is what plays out.

The fourth of July

We explained the 4th to the kids this year. Very generically and kid friendly of course. I loved that Ayla brought it up through out the day. "Mom, we're free to love God and vote"(followed by whats 'vote' mean?) or "Mom, very brave soldiers fought for us to be our own country" Of course she has no understanding of how big that really is, but she knows. And that makes me smile. Dailon thought it was fun to run around screaming "We're freeeeeeeeeee!" and each time he spotted a flag he exclaimed "There it is! That's AMERICAAAA!"

I'm pretty sure Chary just loved that there was food. Over the 2 days that we celebrated the holiday, she had to have eaten 3000 calories. My goodness, she can eat! When she didn't have food of her own she was scoping out what everyone else had and would casually walk up, batting her eyelashes and smiling. "Bite please" When that didn't work she pointed and tried her standby "Uh, Uh, uh, uh" Either way, she got plenty.

Dailon loves babies, he really loves Tenley and Kamden.





Even at 3 1/2, he's looking at her like 'Seriously? You can't just smile like a normal, non-princess kind of kid?'

My mom and dad's neighborhood had a great party on Monday. They had a parade, face painting, dunk tank, dinner, music, and fireworks. We had a really nice time with them. It's funny but at 34, I still like being with my parents, at their house - there is some sense of
everything being just as it should be. My heart melts watching them with our kids. My dad still calls me "pumpkin" once in awhile. It's nice to be close by and be able to spend time with them.

Checking out her face paint and glittery hair

All three of them tried out sparklers. Ayla wanted to do them all night. Dailon was a bit leary but eventually warmed up and did okay. Chary who is fearless in every way, almost lit me on fire at least 5 different times inthe 2 minutes i took to burn her 36" sparkler. I was more than happy to let Darren take over "Chary duty" so that I could snap a few pictures